I had to go.
My friend was lost down the rabbit hole as he went instead of me. I didn’t want to go as I never felt I had to but everybody kept saying I had to because They were calling for me. So my friend said he’ll go instead of me. He never came back. Feeling guilt, I said I will go. Some of my concerned friends made the decision to follow me just to make sure I was ok.
As I entered the muddy rabbit hole in midst of the forest, I knew it was not alright. But I had this crashing feeling of guilt and obligation that if everybody was saying that I needed to go and that They were waiting for me, then I had to go. As I was crawling through the mud, the hole became bigger so I could actually stand up and walk. And there he was…my friend. Or what was left of him. His decayed body parts, that were ravaged and eaten off, laid rotten in the dirt. I could see how parts of his arms and legs were bitten off and chewed on. His body laid decayed in the mud…no glory, no victory, nothing. And all because he was not me. Those nasty creatures knew it. They sniffed it in his DNA, tore his flesh with their beastly foul teeth and fed off it.
Those were some really nasty creatures. Tiny body frames, tiny but strong and long extremities and secretions dripping off their slippery bodies. They were permitted to allow only humans with the perfect DNA…as They were feeding off it. That’s why they wanted me. I clenched teeth realizing what my friends did not. They thought it was so exciting, beautiful and meaningful on the other side…if only they knew.
But I had to go. If I didn’t my friends would just continue to be ransacked in their flesh and life force. They still followed me but they were ok because I have given myself to those creatures as I stepped on the other side.
God, it was so beautiful. So calm. So peaceful. So real. My heart was heavy though as I have this ability to see through the program. Everything here was just a coding. No matter how beautiful or peaceful or perfect it was, it was just a coding. And it worked because the humans that were kidnapped here (and that’s how it felt because I was the only one to have walked consciously through, everyone else in one way or another was lured in), were blinded to the reality behind the “reality,” and within the “reality.” They couldn’t blind me though; it is in my DNA and in part that’s why they wanted me…
…my mother suddenly appeared. “Why would you want to ever leave? What’s wrong? This is the most beautiful place ever. And you have everything provided for. Nothing to worry about!” I looked at my mom and she didn’t even realize I could see through and within her and see the program that she was…I could actually see the screen she was projected on and the “computer” that was generating her. I didn’t say anything though. She continued, “Look around.” I did. It was the most beautiful magical forest to ever exist. The greenest green clean plant life. Birds chirping. The air so refreshingly fresh. The supreme river running along. I have never seen river waters so amazing , green-bluish crystal clean and sparkling. I could see the rocky bottom and it was so inviting. Suddenly, I had this urge bursting through me to dip my feet in. “May I?” I asked my “mother.” “Of course,” she said “You should! It is so beautiful!!! Who wouldn’t want to go!” I walked to the river in silence and dipped my feet. I have never experienced such water temperature – so precisely calculated to be in perfection for the human body. I wanted to cry…it was so good. Could it be…true? My heart was aching, I so badly wanted it to be true…but as I pulled my feet out of the water looking at it, I saw a glitch in the matrix at the bottom of the river. I looked to my “mom”, “What was that? Did you see it?” I saw a brief worry and hesitation in the program behind my “mom” but it recovered quickly and “she” said, “What are you talking about ? Ohhh, that’s just the sand on the bottom…moving.” I knew I had to keep quiet…for now…until I figure a way to get out of here. “Come on. Let’s go out to the city,” “mom” continued.
I had two ways of going back and out of the hole. One was going back through the rabbit hole I came in but that was a no because those nasty creatures were going to tear me down into pieces. They would rather kill me and loose my DNA then allow me to go back as I was going to lead the resistance. Or…option number two was to merge in, study them and the projected “reality,” and find a way from the inside to escape and then bust that system.
My friends who followed me to make sure I was ok couldn’t resist the reality they were given. No wonder…for it was a wonder. I had only one girlfriend who still stayed close by my side to keep an eye on me but nevertheless was giving into staying with her Life and flesh into this world. The city was so beautiful. It reminded me of Iquitos, Peru where I visited last year. Everybody busing around on the streets, the chatter, the sound of the vehicles…and everyone was so happy and healthy. And busy with doing their thing whatever it was. It was as if everybody was given something like a project or work so to feel productive, occupied and “meaningful.” It was such a “happy” place …but there was no love in this place. And all my senses could see, smell, hear, taste, feel and understand the artificial structure of this reality as the predators were silently feeding off the flesh and energy of the people there…who were the only real thing.
I could barely hold all that in. But I had to, if I wanted to get out. I parked my car. I got out. My friend chose to stay inside as she waited for me. I stepped on the sidewalk. There was a fence decorated with the most beautiful intensely colored red flowers. As I leaned to look closely at them and smell them, I saw through the fence a big yard…at the end of it, there was an old big house that reminded me of an old castle. I got the feeling of the castle from the fairytale Beauty and the Beast. The door opened and suddenly zoomed in. It spoke to me, “Come on. Isn’t that what you’ve been waiting for? This is the way.”
I looked at my friend who was so not having a clue of what’s going on. I wanted to take her with me…I felt like such of traitor if I left her behind. But then again, she didn’t even had a clue what’s going on, she so liked it here and she would probably think I am nuts. I can’t live her behind. I can’t betray her.
Climbing that fence to get to the house was a long task. I did it. I ran through the lawn. I got to the door and walked through it. Walking through it was a slow process as it was actually walking through wet sands… it was so slowly and dense. As my body was sinking in the sands, feelings of guilt started rushing in for leaving out my friend and I taught I’d trick “them.” (the ones who were helping me; who were actually human). As my whole body was moving through the sands, my right arm was still out and I stretched it out so far to my friend in the car, who was looking at me with fear in her eyes speaking, “Don’t leave me!” I shouted to her, “Come on. Grab my hand. I’ll pull you through.” And in this very moment, the beings that were helping me, who opened the doorway for me said, “NO. It is your choice. Only you can come through. It is Your awareness that You have and we need You to come through. Make your choice. You come through, she stays. Or you both stay.” They were so firm. Yet there was so much love. I looked at my friend….so much guilt. I knew I can’t stay. No, I can’t stay in that place knowing what’s happening and allowing them to feed off us. I had to go. And I had to leave her behind. But as I walked through, I realized I was walking through for her and the rest. I would get them out of there.
As I walked in the castle, I ended up in a large beautiful old room. For the first time in a long time, I realized I was really hungry. It was as if I had forgotten and just have realized…gee, I was SO hungry. And there were these long tables with tons of delicious healthy vegetarian and vegan dishes. I started eating right off the platters. Trying out everything. Wow…that was what real food really tastes like…wow, not only what it tastes like is delicious but it actually satisfied my hunger and nourished my body. I kept looking at it, reading it, eating it…it was true.
…and all of a sudden, I woke up. Oh, I forgot to mention I was in a male form in the dream.
